The Ocs, The Authors, and The Mary Sue
by Shadow ScytheX
Summary: The tiltle is a parody of the good, the bad, and the ugly, but it's not THAT western. Anyways, I can't tell you anything, but it is DEFINITLY not a Mary Sue.


_April Rain  
  
_By Shadow and Dark Promise  
NOTE: E-Mail me if you have an OC or 2 and you'd like to be in this story, 'cause I don't have a huge cast. NOTE: You will have some place in the story, but this is not interactive. You need just send me your description and your OC's. No recommendations, just OCs. Thank you.  
  
Chapter 1: A home is not a home without a gnome  
*At one person's job in an abandoned warehouse.......*  
Sharply dressed man: So, do you have the goods?  
Other man: *Opens up briefcase with 200 thousand double dollars*  
Sharple dressed man: Yes, you want your little booger eater on my show? Fine. He'll be dancing center stage. My name is Roy Maverick, don't forget it.  
Other man: Thank you...*Flips coin, catching light*  
Overshadowed figure:*Dashes*  
Roy: Hmmph. People are so easy to buy off.  
Voice: I know. Sometimes I feel like that too.  
All that he saw was a flash of light gleaming off his blade and all he heard was the oriachulum blade cutting into his flesh.  
Tak: *Wiping off his blades* You'd think our savior would give me legendary metal that was impossible to dirty, but "No," he says, "You have plenty of cloth to use as cleaning cloths." *Grumbling*  
Other man: *Picks up the briefcase, then tosses it to Tak* Sufficient payment, I presume.  
Tak: *Flipping through the group of bills* Thank you for your generous salary. *Bows, then walks away* Hope to see you again, Mizoru.  
Mizoru: I doubt it. *Takes out a gun*  
Tak: *Whistles*  
Mizoru: *Tries to pull the trigger, but finds a toy gun* What the hell?  
Gun: *Squeak*  
Figure: *Spinning the six shooter on his finger* Really, you gotta learn how to use that grand strand, buddy. Like this. *Fires 3 shots into Mizoru's legs, 1 into each arm, then one in his groin, then blows off the smoking gun*  
Mizoru: *now hunched over in pain*  
Figure: *Comes out to reveal......(Free stupid smack if you can't guess who.)........... Shadow.  
Shadow: *Walks to Tak, smirking*  
Tak: Shut up.  
Shadow: *Starts signaling in drow hand code, "I wasn't talking."*  
Tak: *Signs back, "Smart ass."*  
Shadow: *Makes loser sign on his forehead*  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Old Woman: *Bitterly yelling at Azu and Luana in Jewish*  
Luana: *Speaking in Japanese* Ranting Jewish mother.... she's been yelling for how long and why again?  
Azu: *Also in Japanese* You used Chlorox instead of Scrubbing Bubbles, and 40 min. 35 sec.  
Luana: *In Japanese* I'm not cut out for the maid buisness.  
Azu: *Japanese* Yeah, well you looked in the personals, not me.  
Old Woman: *Stops, then turns back to English* And I'm docking your pay for 3 days!  
Luana/Azu: *Sigh, then resume work*  
Phone: *Explodes* (And I bet you thought it would ring, too, didn't ya?)  
Azu: *Sighs, then checks her e-mail on her laptop*  
E-Mail: Dear Luana and Azu,  
How goes the cleaning? Anyways, we got paid and we got to mutilate a guy in the same day! You can quit, but I'm sure you two look cute in aprons. ^_^  
Anyways, we're going to meet you in Vale.  
Hugs and kisses,   
Tak  
Azu: ¬_¬ And you adore him WHY?  
Luana: Sometimes, even _I_ don't know. Old Woman, consider this our two hour's notice.  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Kris: *Clashing blades with Zealot*  
Zealot: You have to put more force in your swing, and use that cross parry you INSISTED was necissary for a full library of attacks.  
Kris: It didn't work like I thought it would.  
Zealot: If your form wasn't off it would, now, wouldn't it?  
Kris: *Sighs, then swings*  
Zealot: *Blocks it with the cross hilt, launching Kris's sword in the air in an upwards arc*  
Kris: *Jumps out of the way*  
Sword: *Embeds itself into the ground*  
Zealot: *Drops his sword to the ground and uppercuts Kris*  
Kris: *Naturally, flies backwards into a tree* Oww........  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
Tsuka: * Loads pixi stix gun*  
Nikari: *Loads pixi stix pump action shot gun*  
Evil Preps: *Walking towards them*  
Tsuka: *Blasts the blue sugar at them*  
Preps that were hit: *Turn into welsh corgis*  
Nikari: *Takes out several preps*  
Tsuka: We have one option...... the S-Bomb.  
Nikari: The sugar bomb? No, we'll get hit by the blast.  
Tsuka: Yes, that's a good thing.  
Nikari: Oh. *Gets launcher ready* Torpedo tube ready, cap'n!  
Tsuka: Fire!  
Nikari: *Lights fuse, then covers ears*  
S-bomb: *Flies into the air, then explodes into several pixi stix sugar types*  
Tsuka/Nikari: *Stand with their tounges hanging out*  
Suddenly, something happened to all 4 of the 'hikaris'.  
Pockets: *Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*  
Shadow/Azu/Kris/Tsuka: *Take glowing object out of their pockets, which turn out to be...... beepers*  
All: *Check message*  
Message: Go to the forest terminal, I mean, go to the forest.  
Shadow: Which is it?  
Message: Dammit, YOU figure it out. I just do what I'm told.  
Azu: Why?  
Kris: Let's see if this has advice under the 'Catchphrase' section. *Presses button*  
CS: 'Reunite with your friends Shadow, Tsuka, and Azu by using the IM feature on the left side under the screen.'  
Kris: That was an oddly specific cathprase. Oh well. *Presses button, then types, "Hello, is this working?"*  
Beepers: "You got god damn f***** mail. Good for you."  
Tsuka: We have potty mouth directions. He talks like a sailor.  
Shadow: *Types back, "The only forest in Angara is south of Imil, I think. The closest one, anyways."*  
Tsuka: *Types, "We'll be there. Nikari's a bit hyper, though........*  
Azu: *Types, "You pick us up, Shadow. We had to cook, clean, do laundry......"*  
Shadow: *Sighs, then waits for her to finish*  
Azu: *"And I bet you don't even care! Hmph!"*  
Shadow: *Sets his watch to 3 minutes*  
Watch: *Rings as Shadow gets a message*  
Azu: *"Sorry I yelled, I'm doing the CS, and PMSing....."*  
Shadow: *"Yeah, I know. I keep a calandar too."*  
Azu: *Blinks, then leaves the Old Woman's house*  
  
  
  
R&R, and remember, **_E-MAIL ONLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11_**  



End file.
